I want to help my Daughter Though her depression, but i really need some advice. Please help if you can?

My Daugther has been looking after me since she was 6,


( I have M.S) and with other things in her life like her farther leaving and trauma she has been though, it has left her with derpression and social phobia for the past 4 years.





she has seen many thearpist, been on many differnt kinds of medication, done hpynothearpy many self help books but not alot seems to work.





but i was talking to an old friend on how she got though her derpression, was by going away having a week to think to herself with out stuff like looking after me for example.





but she is very scared to be on my own, but i really think she needs it, where do you think she could go to be safe and to think?





Please help thank you xxxxI want to help my Daughter Though her depression, but i really need some advice. Please help if you can?
I'm actually 18+ years old,which is similar to your daughter, and I'm also visiting a therapist now.I know Wat's the feeling of being depress.personally,I think traveling can help a lot, it can open your eyes,and heart.don't just stay in home,go out and let her know that this world is so beautiful,let her know that it's better spending time to do something meaningful rather than being sad.Cause time still go on,whether you are in good mood or bad. Recently,there was one Taiwanese actress died at the age of 28,which is a totally shock news for all the fans around Asia. After I got to know that, I've realized that life is really unpredictable,so why don't just spend times you have in happy mood? ask your daughter that. and tell her that you will be very regret for being sad always,if you get to know you'll going to leave this world tomorrow.


By the way,for therapy,personally, I think should just find a good one,and focus on it.I want to help my Daughter Though her depression, but i really need some advice. Please help if you can?
Seriously, if she's ';seen many therapists, been on many different kinds of medication, done hypnotherapy %26amp; many self help books';...and nothing has helped, then I can't see how a few days away (particularly if she has a social phobia) is going to succeed. What this says to me (and you must surely have considered the possibility already) is that some ongoing stressful situation in her life is preventing her responding to treatment. If this is her caring for you, for example, then you might consider employing someone so she can have regular time off. You mentioned trauma she has been through and her father leaving, but unless these are still ongoing situations, they would not hold her back from recovery. I suspect something in her present daily life will have to definitely change before she can start to get well again.
As soon as she get's herself out from under the burden of caring for you. She will be fine...





That is, if... you spared her the manipulation and guilt that sick people often put others through out of sheer fear based desperation.





I suggest you make an honest attempt at sending her away for college so that she can have a life... Rent and watch the movie called Stella with Bette Midler...





Guilt and fear can really do a number on anyone of an otherwise sound nature. Loving her enough to let her go without guilt is the cure...
Have you considered a psychiatrist, instead of a therapist? It's possible that she has a physical cause to the behavior, and could be treated with a medication other than antidepressants or antianxiety drugs.





My experience is that treating mental illnesses is a matter of finding the right kind of treatment for the right kind of diagnosis. (My husband, who is bipolar, had seen every therapist and tried every antidepressant without success, When he finally saw the right doctor, he was diagnosed and treated- with results within months- using mood stabilizers that the therapists never considered.)





It's worth a try. I sure hope she gets better, as I know it must be hard for both of you. She needs to be on her own, and know she has value apart from being a caretaker, but the freedom probably makes her feel guilty and afraid. You want her to get better, but can't do it for her.





Good luck.
read overcoming depression by professor peter cooper robinson books www.constablerobinson.org its the best book ever written on depression its brilliant it will help you understand everything about depression
your daughter is so young yet she seems to have been through a lot you just need to be there for her and with professional help the both of you will be able to get through it if you are in the uk phone parent line plus or go to the web site just type in parentline plus and they will put you in touch with right people ! good luck xx
Put her on:





1. a psychotherapy waiting list


2. a plane to Lake Balaton in Hungary, and book her a cheap hotel.





No. 1 I cannot stress enough, I have suffered from depression since her age (14 years ago) and it still has not been treated. If I had gone on a waiting list then I might have been seen 10 years ago.
There is a support group for carers- I've seen adverts in my doctor's surgery...


Perhaps you could organise someone else to look after you, %26amp; arrange for your daughter to be taken on a holiday of a life-time via one of the childrens' charities?


Your daughter deserves recognition %26amp; a medal.


Sing her praises to the right people...


She doesn't need a psychiatrist- she is just lonely %26amp; lacking experience in a few social skills due to her isolation...


She needs some respite- some strain taking off her shoulders so she can just be a normal kid...


REWARD her! %26amp; she'll blossom


XX
The power of kindness says:





Rule number one:


Whether a plant, an animal or a person;


If it's alive it's much more likely to thrive


when you give it lots of loving attention.





Rule number two:


Isolation kills. You don't have to believe me or Deanna, just check the statistics on death rates of babies in orphanages versus in homes and the death rates of geriatric patients in nursing homes versus home health care. The numbers speak louder than words.





To read more please visit here http://www.lollie.com/Bkind/Bkind.html
This is something that I have a lot of personal experience with. I was 17 when i went into the absolute worst depression in the world. It crippled me for nearly 20 years. It took a lot of soul searching and the quiet support of my family and friends to help me through it. The best advice, just be there for her. The more you push her to talk the deeper the depression will go for her. I know it's hard, I am now a mother too, to sit by and watch your child suffer, but once she feels comfortable with you as a support and not a threat so to speak she will eventually open up to you. Just be patient and be her friend that she can trust right now. That's exactly what she needs more that anything right now. When the time is right your mother instincts will kick in. Believe me I wish my mother had done it this way. She died 2 years ago not knowing that I had beaten it. She couldn't get over being a mother instead of the best friend that I needed so much. Don't let this happen to you and your daughter. If it does you will never forgive yourself
i would say medication for the depression and CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) for the social phobia





as for going off by herself for a week, i guess everyone deals with depression in their own way.





the situation seems more complicated in that she is your primary carer - is there any way of you getting respite care for a weekend so she go and be a teenager without worrying about how you are?





i suggest you go to the GP and push for her to see a CPN and/or community mental health team.





that doesnt mean she is mad, just ill and needs a bit of help.





she is still young and deserves help.
http://www.cchr.org/index.cfm/8771